Complicated love
by LovelyDepression
Summary: Feliciano was falling deeper and deeper into something he had no control over, and it only got worse. Itacest/slight AU. Human names used.


**I decided to re-upload this because doremi13 convinced me too... :) Thank you for that!**

**Hey it's LovelyDepression, again! Umm, I decided to make a little one shot while doing my current project!**

**Please don't be mad at me! I tend to do this every now and then!**

**Anyways, I hope you will enjoy this little one shot! It's not much. This story was inspired by the song ****Stand My Ground**** by Within Temptation.**

* * *

_"The greater your capacity to love is, the greater your capacity to feel the pain." – Jennifer Aniston_

* * *

Feliciano didn't know when he started pretending. He couldn't quiet place the exact time. All he knew is that it was somewhere in the 1980's. He could feel his smile's becoming more and more forced as the days dragged on. He noticed he didn't really laugh as much anymore. He knew that, and he also knew people were starting to notice it, also. Hell, if it weren't for Ludwig saying something, Feliciano probably would have sunk even deeper into something unknown.

Feliciano didn't find out what was bothering him until one late August night. His brother was visiting him for only a few hours. Lovino had actually cooked something so they could both eat, which surprised Feliciano, but nevertheless, he couldn't help but brake out into a huge grin.

So, when Lovino was getting ready to leave, Feliciano had only pouted; until Antonio was mentioned.

"I'm heading back over to Tomato Bastard's house. Don't do anything stupid and get yourself killed, got it?" Lovino huffed out, glaring weakly at his brother. Feliciano had only frozen for a split second when he felt his heart constrict painfully. Forgetting about the plate of pasta in his hand, he dropped it. The loud crash seem to shock Lovino and it was quick to make Feliciano come back to the world of the living.

"C-Chigi! You freaking bastard! What are you trying to do, dammit! Give me a freaking heart attack!" Lovino yelled out, whipping around quickly to glare at him. Feliciano quickly composed himself and smiled meekly.

"Ve~ Sorry Lovi! I was just being clumsy! It won't happen again! I promise!" He said quickly, bending down to pick up some of the broken pieces. He could hear his brother huff before he also bent down to help pick up the pieces.

There were similar encounters like that, only happening whenever Lovino would come over and announce that he would head over to Spain's. Feliciano didn't understand what was happening. He didn't for a while, well, that is until Lovino had stayed the night at his house. They were just lying in bed when Feliciano spoke up.

"Hey, Lovi?" He started out quietly. All he got was a grunt in reply, which meant 'Go on.'

"Do you love big brother Antonio?" He started again. Lovino was quick to respond. He sat up quickly and turned over to stare at him, his cheeks dusted with pink. Feliciano kept staring up at him, waiting for an answer. Turning his head away, Lovino finally spoke up.

"…Yes. Yes, I love him…" He mumbled out before lying down quickly and turning on his side, so his back was facing Feliciano. Feliciano nodded numbly, that same pain squeezing his heart again. Feliciano turned to lie on his back before letting out a shuddering breathe.

"T…That's good. I'm…I'm glad you're happy, Lovi…" He whispered out before slowly drifting off into a restless sleep.

From there, things only got worse. Feliciano figured that he was in love with Lovino. That scared him. Scared him beyond anything else had ever before. It also disgusted him. Who loves their own brother? It disgusted him, and yet, he couldn't stop himself from loving him. So Feliciano did the one thing that he could think of: distancing himself. He would spend less time with Lovino. Start avoiding being in a room with him. He did all the things possible, and when Lovino would come over, he would act like he was heading over to Ludwig's. It wasn't easy for Feliciano, that much was sure. He hated seeing the disappointment and hurt flash over his brother's eyes, the sharp, hurtful reply leaving his brothers lips. And it only got worse and worse, until they got in a fight.

"What the hell's wrong with you! Why are you avoiding me, Feli!" Lovino shouted out, hands crossed over his chest as he stood in the doorway of Feliciano's house. Feliciano forced a smile on his face and stared up at Lovino.

"Ve~ what are you talking about Fratello?" He asked, tilting his head to the side to add to the innocent act, the one he continued to play. Lovino eyes narrowed into slits.

"Don't play dumb, bastard! You're avoiding me! I want to know why the hell you're doing that! And don't even try to lie!" He ground out, hands unwinding from their position.

Feliciano started to panic. What could he tell his brother? He couldn't tell him the actual reason or he might be hated! Darting his eyes around a little, Feliciano stood straighter and looked Lovino in the eyes.

"I can't tell you, Lovi…" He said. That was the thing that set him off. Lovino hit the door and took a step forward. "And why the hell can't you?" He yelled again, hoping to get an answer. Feliciano stayed put and glared at his brother.

"Because I _can't _tell you, that's why!" He screamed back. He pushed Lovino back and slammed the door in his face. Feliciano quickly locked it before leaning against it, hands clenched into fist with his head bent down. Lovino continued pounding on the door.

"Feliciano, open this _damn_ door, _NOW!" _Lovino yelled out. Feliciano let out a sob and sunk to the floor on his knees. Tears streaked down his face as he continued to cry. When did love get so complicated? He laughed bitterly and picked himself up.

"Io sono spiacente fratello, i suo per il meglio…" He whispered out.

* * *

**Annndddd that's the end of it…. **

**I really am sorry for making it so sad! ;A; I regret having Feli have unrequited love! It made me almost cry! And I wrote the damn thing! **

**Anyways I hope you enjoyed reading. I doubt I might make this into a series….I might but it'll probably be after I finish The Bloody Truth…. But for now it'll be a one shot… **

**Oh what Feli said is "I'm sorry brother, i-it's for the best."**


End file.
